Fat I am very fat and yet cannot seem to do anything to stop being so fat. I am in this terrible cycle of feeling trapped and sad by my weight and the only thing that makes me forget is eating. I just came back from a yearly family vacation, a trip to our summer home on a lake. The whole thing was affected by my weight. There were all the things I was unable to do: I couldn't hike because my knees hurt all of the time I couldn't kayak because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get out of the boat I couldn't enjoy the big cocktail party I threw because my knees hurt so much from the standing and all I could think of was how much fatter I was than the year before, and how awful I look There was all the time I spent strategizing around my fat: Paying for first class on the flight so I didn't have to squish into a normal seat. Panicking over all of the old, tiny chairs at all of the cabins - would I break one? Would I have trouble getting out of the low ...